


Countdown

by walking_through_autumn



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Minor Original Character(s), Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3672699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walking_through_autumn/pseuds/walking_through_autumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The curtains close on the Anteiku Raid. It is T minus 245 days to the birth of a new phase. </p><p>Written for Sasaki Haise's birthday (02 April).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Countdown

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sasaki Haise's birthday. 
> 
> Speculation for the period after Anteiku Raid.

_T minus 245 days_

**August 1 st 2011**

The sun started to rise at 4.46am.

Akira watched as the sun rose like a child eager for the new day, throwing light out over the rooftop buildings and making it clear to Akira what exactly she was stepping on. _This_ , she thought, was why she dislikes summer.

 _Ghoul foot_ , she thought, and in the next step, _human hand_.

“Rank Two Akira,” somebody said from behind her. She was sure he was a higher ranked investigator, but he did not sound particularly forceful. More than anything else, he sounded tired. “You should go back. You’re – ”

He paused there. Akira was sure she knew what he wanted to say. _You’re tired. You’re not thinking right. You’re fighting a hopeless battle._

She ignored the pity in his voice and continued walking. She could still remember the direction Takizawa had been headed. To her right survivors continued hauling bodies up, not a sound coming from them.

Nobody else tried to stop her after that man. It was just as well. With the day’s light they could hurry the cleanup.

When she came to an unfamiliar area she stopped. There were rows of parked bicycles waiting for their owners to reclaim them, and vending machines at the end of the street. There were no bodies and no other investigators. There was nothing to obstruct her view from the right arm that lay like an abandoned doll at the side of the street.

She sank down next to it. It looked smaller than she remembered. Larger than she remembered too, with an armour that she had never seen on the man before.

She touched it. The metal was cool; it hadn’t been touched by the sun rays yet. She pulled it into her lap and marveled at its weight.

She thought it could have been an hour that she sat there, protective gear becoming warmer and heavier as the sun rose. The metal gained warmth as she sat there, a metallic, machinery sort of warmth. She tried to imagine that the warmth was his.

“Rank Two Akira,” a voice said, different from the first man’s. There was a hand on her shoulder that she wanted to shrug off, but her gear felt too heavy for that.

“Let’s go back,” he said in a low voice.

She nodded and looked up, towards the end of the street, upwards to where a strip of sky was visible between two buildings.

 _Red sky in the morning_ , she thought, as the Tokyo sky bled a shade of red she hadn’t imagined was possible in this city.

.

_T minus 238 days_

**August 08 th 2011**

It barely stung when the water ran over the thin sliver of injury. Arima stared at the wall in front of him as the water continued hitting his head and shoulders, and the steam continued to rise in curls around him. It was a long shower, and unnecessarily hot considering the season.

He switched off the water and stood in the steam for a while, water dripping off the tips of his hair and running down his face, over his cheekbones. He traced the slight ridge under his eye, from left to right, right to left, and once again.

He stepped out of the shower area and nearer to the sink. The mirror was fogged up from the steam – he used a palm to wipe the condensation off the center.

It was as he had thought. The injury was nearly healed, red having faded to a pink, and soon there would be nothing left except a faint line and the ridge to suggest an old injury.

He wondered whether Washuu Tsuneyoshi had already come up with a name.

.

_T minus 231 days_

**August 15 th 2011**

Owl had gotten away. Hirako knew it wasn’t his, or Ui’s, or Arima’s, or anyone’s fault, but he did wonder what the higher-ups thought about this. He thought perhaps they were being considerate in not berating them – there were still some people who wept when they passed the row of boards announcing their dead – but it was a comment from Kuramoto that made him think.

“It sounds crude when put this way, but it was a good haul,” Kuramoto muttered.

“Good haul?” Hirako asked.

Kuramoto’s smile dimmed. “Well, we lost so many people…but I’m sure there will be tons of _quinque_ the researchers can produce now. Chigyou would want to make sure we’re better equipped for…next time.”

Hirako thought about two weeks ago. After they have neatly separated the dead from the injured, humans from ghouls, their dead were taken back in batches, and the ghoul bodies were brought away too.

He never asked where the ghoul bodies went. He supposed he had always known, he just never bothered too much about the issue. So maybe _this_ was why there was no mention of Owl or any further follow up action.

He wondered how busy the researchers were now.

.

_T minus 224 days_

**August 22 nd 2011**

The lady paused in her typing and stared at the screen. After a few minutes of scrutiny she clicked “Print”.

The printer whirred to life and smoothly slid out a piece of paper. The notice was simple, with large font in the middle, and details of application at the bottom.

She sighed and decided it was good enough. After all, there was some sort of test that had to be a success, according to her superior. She didn’t know what the test was, but she definitely agreed that more people were needed.

.

_T minus 217 days_

**August 29 th 2011**

There was a change reflected in the monitor. The nurse on duty stood up from her desk and walked briskly to the door behind her, tapping her staff card to the reader.

After a corridor, she keyed in a series of numbers before the next door slid open. She had to be fast, as the door closed within three seconds.

Another corridor later, she pressed her index finger to the scanner and patiently waited. There was a single beep, a light flickering green, before the last door opened.

In the middle of the large, windowless room was a bed. The light from the ceiling was white, the sheets were white, and the hair that rested on the pillow was white. Only the machinery provided a relief from the white – they were dull grey and kept a constant muted background noise.

“Are you awake?” she asked, loud enough to be heard, soft enough to not startle.

There was no response from the figure except for his quiet breathing. She checked the heart rate monitor. It was steady now, but less than a minute back there had been a spike, as though the person had been struggling towards consciousness then decided not to fight any longer.

She checked the rest of the monitors; there was nothing unusual. And the bandages did not need changing until the next day.

She observed the figure for a while longer. After a few minutes of nothing changing, she typed a comment into the room’s computer, then left.

.

_T minus 210 days_

**September 05 th 2011**

They did see an increase in applicants, not only for the Academy, but also for part-timers. A cheerful young man knocked on Marude’s door, left a document on his desk, then left the office as quickly as he had entered to continue delivering documents. Marude didn’t know his name.

He grunted and picked up the envelope. Then he dropped it onto the table again.

He would never be able to figure out why that boy had just left the command center without any reason.

He didn’t much care for the boy, but it irked him, having something unsolved in his mind. And this time nobody had the answer.

.

_T minus 203 days_

**September 12 th 2011**

She was comfortable working with Houji, who treated her with his customary respect and politeness, and they worked on several cases, ghouls who decided to let loose now that they thought the CCG was crippled.

Houji was efficient and precise. Akira was efficient and precise as well. The combination of his experience and sharp mind, and her wit and keen intuition, meant that they were able to solve any given case within two weeks at the most.

He never chided her.

And she never teased him.

.

_T minus 196 days_

**September 19 th 2011**

Washuu Yoshitoki found Arima in the office he rarely used, and said Tsuneyoshi wanted to speak with him.

Arima nodded and stood up.

As they were walking down the corridor, Yoshitoki said, as though he was commenting on the weather, “It seems like he has decided on the name.”

Arima nodded and said, “Understood.”

His steps were a touch faster after that.

In the large room, they both bowed in a synchronized move, and waited for the old man to speak. Tsuneyoshi looked at both of them, from Yoshitoki’s patient expression to Arima’s dispassionate face, and asked, “Is he awake?”

Yoshitoki said, “The doctors reported that there hasn’t been any change yet.”

Tsuneyoshi nodded, like he had expected as such but was still displeased upon hearing the news. He said, “I have decided on the name.”

He looked at Arima directly and Arima bowed once more. “Thank you very much,” he said.

Tsuneyoshi placed his hand on a piece of paper and looked at the words there for a while. Then he slid the paper across the desk. There were five _kanji_ written in beautiful calligraphic script on the paper.

Arima stepped forward to receive it.

“Sasaki,” Tsuneyoshi said. He leaned back against his chair and said, as though pondering to himself, “Sasaki Haise.”

Arima nodded and said, “As you wish.” He took a few more seconds to look at the name then passed it back to Tsuneyoshi, careful like he was handling a birth certificate.

As they turned to leave the room Yoshitoki took a side glance at Arima. Arima’s face remained dispassionate, and Yoshitoki wondered if Arima too had understood the significance of the name.

.

_T minus 189 days_

**September 26 th 2011**

It didn’t hurt, though the doctors and nurses seemed convinced that he might still be experiencing pain. Suzuya didn’t know how many times he needed to assure them it really did not hurt.

“When can I start physiotherapy?” he asked the nurse, the kind one who always slipped him candy.

“I don’t know, Juuzou. But I did hear that it should be quite soon. The doctor will come by in an hour or so,” she said. That was another thing he liked about her. She didn’t try to pretend she knew more than she did. She fluffed his pillow for him and asked, “How does it feel?”

He prodded the artificial limb below the stump and said, “Weird.”

“Not painful?” she asked.

He smiled and said, “No.”

“That’s good. Well, you can’t try to walk by yourself yet, but if you want to I can wheel you over to Mr. Shinohara’s room?” she suggested.

He shook his head, still with a smile, and said, “No.”

“Oh. That’s alright too,” she said, her smile looking a little worried. After checking that he was comfortable she pressed a lollipop into his hand and went to check on her other patients.

Left alone in his room, Suzuya twirled the stick of the lollipop between his fingers, looked out the window, and said, “I’ll show him when I can walk again.”

.

_T minus 182 days_

**October 3 rd 2011**

It was not so much waking up as it was being aware that there was life beyond this darkness. His finger twitched. There was a soothing voice saying something, but he couldn’t make out the words. He thought he heard a “sa”, or was it maybe a “se”? A “ki”?

His body felt warm and heavy. The voice he heard, saying the strange monosyllabic sounds, was mingling with soft laughter that floated out of the darkness and invited him to sink down again.

It was too much effort to hold onto the words. He sank down, back into the darkness and the inviting laughter.

.

_T minus 175 days_

**October 10 th 2011**

A file slipped out of the pile onto the table. Akira paused in clearing away the stack and picked up the file. It was a heavy one, with post-its sticking out from the side, colour coding the materials.

“Binge eater,” she said softly, as she flipped through the file. It was almost nostalgic as she remembered the month they had spent researching this case together. She flipped faster, pushing back the memory.

She paused at the newspaper clipping that Shinohara had given to them. The one about the boy and the girl involved in the accident with the steel beams.

“Kaneki…Ken,” she murmured.

Behind the newspaper clipping there were the details of his having gone missing. She remembered now, the wild, impossible idea of a human turned ghoul. The ghoul that Amon had not chased down, had even hit away to let escape. The new force that had entered the raid and the cold feeling that had gone down her spine in the rain.

She was quiet for a long while. Then she walked to her table and locked the file in a drawer.

.

_T minus 168 days_

**October 17 th 2011**

He was almost able to walk naturally. The physiotherapy sessions were more troublesome than tiring, but he worked hard at it. The doctors and nurses marveled at how quick he was to adjust, while Suzuya wondered whether Chigyou would complain if he asked him to help adjust the prosthetic.

“You’re really good!” his favourite nurse said, when she entered the room to find him learning to balance on the prosthetic.

“Thank you,” he said, sing-song. His smile widened when he saw her beam.

She gestured at the door and, with a hesitant look, asked, “Do you want to…?”

Suzuya thought for a while, then he nodded. “Without the crutches, please,” he said, when he saw her turning towards the corner of the room where the crutches stood gathering dust.

“If you’re sure,” she said, and she insisted on opening the door for him.

He still tended to favour the leg, resulting in what seemed like a slight limp. Suzuya brought each foot forward carefully, trying to keep it as natural as possible, while the nurse talked about how he would be able to go out in time to enjoy the autumn leaves.

“Well,” she said when they reached the room, all talk of nature’s beauty trailing off. She opened the door quietly and said, “I’ll leave you to it then.”

Suzuya nodded in thanks and stepped across the threshold.

There was a fresh vase of flowers by the bed. Suzuya waited for the door to click close before taking careful steps towards the bed.

He glanced at where the man’s leg should be. The blanket dipped on one side, right below the stump.

Suzuya stared at the space. Then he eased himself down at the side of the bed. He placed his palm on top of the man’s hand, feeling his warmth through the blanket.

He still looked like he was only asleep.

“Hello, Shinohara,” Suzuya said, and he slowly brought up his leg as though the man would be able to see it and smile at him.

.

_T minus 161 days_

**October 24 th 2011**

Arima gazed at the sleeping figure on the bed. There was a nametag now above the bed, proclaiming the person as “Sasaki Haise”.

The doctors and nurses had mentioned two times when they thought he had awoken. They were sure that given enough time he would fully awake and they would be able to move onto the next step then.

Arima wondered how much time was enough time.

“There you are,” a voice said from behind him.

Arima nodded in acknowledgement.

“Ah, has Sasaki responded in anyway?” Yoshitoki asked. He stood beside Arima and gazed down at the sleeping figure. The eyes were still bandaged and the lips were partly opened. It was like they were looking at a breathing doll.

“No,” Arima said.

“Hmm,” Yoshitoki said.

There was a period of silence between them. The heart rate monitor continued its steady beeps.

“How is the progress?” Arima asked.

“…we’re still looking for ways to make the experiment as safe as possible,” Yoshitoki said, and he didn’t look like he would say anymore.

.

_T minus 154 days_

**October 31 st 2011**

He was hungry. It was a ravenous sort of hunger, his stomach gnawing at him and threatening to digest itself. He thought he could smell meat, the welcoming scent inviting him down alleys, and in the darkness he thought he could see a vague image – a man eating another, and that same man being decapitated in the next second by a strong kick to his head. His hunger mingled with the memory of horror.

The image warped into another. An afternoon at a café. A girl with long hair sitting across from him and hardly eating her sandwich.

Another image. A different girl offering him an arm she had ripped off.

A boy with bright hair and an even brighter grin being thrown to the side like a rag doll.

The sound of a piano being played and the flickering light of candles.

A small girl crying in the rain.

A tall man with determined eyes and whose shoulder he bit into.

He was hungry. His fingers twitched and his mouth opened wider.

There was a flurry of sound around him. It was dark but he could still hear.

“ – awake?”

“Call the doctor – ”

“ – rate steady – ”

“Mr. Sasaki? Are you awake?”

He moved his mouth but couldn’t make a sound.

“Doctor, Mr. Sasaki Haise seems to be awake.”

 _Who_? He thought as he felt the top half of the bed slowly being lifted up. He felt hands on him, steadying his shoulders. He heard what seemed like ten people talking at once, though he could only feel the presence of five people.

“Bandages?” somebody asked.

“Not yet,” another replied.

There was a hand that felt the edge of his eyes –

He flinched away from the touch without even thinking.

He was so hungry that for a while he didn’t understand. There were murmurs all around him, too fast for him to catch, and what sounded like a lot of buttons being tapped. He thought maybe if he opened his eyes he might understand better, his hunger, where he was, what they were talking about.

Then he realized what was wrong.

He didn’t have eyes.

.

_T minus 147 days_

**November 7 th 2011**

Suzuya reported back to work with his hair dyed black. Those who knew him from before the raid stared. Somebody dropped a file.

Akira pretended not to recognize him. She cordially introduced herself and shook his hand, and he too introduced himself.

They looked at each other until her face broke into a smile and they both laughed together.

.

_T minus 140 days_

**November 14 th 2011**

Although it was Hirako in charge of the talk, he let Kuramoto do most of the talking while his gaze swept over the lecture theatre. This was the class that would graduate in two years, and he had been informed there were several promising students.

He found one: Kuroiwa Takeomi. He has his father’s eyes and an earnest expression, and he was nodding as Kuramoto was talking. Even their eyebrows were the same, Hirako thought, allowing himself a brief, internal smile.

The other one: Urie Kuki. Hirako looked at him out of the corner of his eye. The boy seemed to be listening, but it was as though he didn’t give a damn about Kuramoto’s talk, about the honour and duty that being part of the CCG meant.

Hirako thought it might just be his imagination though.

He nodded when Kuramoto gestured to him, and stepped forward to give a short talk.

.

_T minus 133 days_

**November 21 st 2011**

It was a rare day that Arima could spend some time looking at his small collection of books. He traced his finger lightly over the spines, skipping from book to book without much thought. He hadn’t read in a while, though he did buy some new books recently.

He paused at one and pulled it out. The cover was plain and elegant in its simplicity.

He supposed Kitahara Hakushu was as good as any other author, for a start. And maybe another author, a foreign one, so that there would be some choice. After looking through the books for a while longer, he slipped Kitahara’s collection of poetry and Lewis’s _The Screwtape Letters_ into a bag.

.

_T minus 126 days_

**November 28 th 2011**

“How are you doing today, Mr. Sasaki?”

He blinked, coming awake slowly. There were still bandages over his right eye, and the vision from his left was blurry.

“Who…?” he whispered.

“I’m your nurse. Taguchi,” she said.

The name niggled at his mind a bit. He looked at the nurse with the round face and brown hair, and shook his head. He was sure she had misunderstood the question.

“Who…are you…talking about?” he said, voice hoarse.

He thought that was a small, sad smile on her face, but he wasn’t very sure. “You, of course,” she said gently. She slid a small bottle in front of him.

He drew back from it.

“…you have to eat, Mr. Sasaki,” she said, gentle and insistent.

“…no,” he said.

“Well, after you eat, if you would like it I could read a book for you,” she said.

He thought about it. It was true that he was hungry, but he hadn’t liked the last time they gave him something to eat. He had felt like weeping then, and he didn’t know what it would be like now that he had one functioning eye. Barely functioning eye.

“Mr. Arima left some poetry for you. I don’t understand them myself but…”

He felt more than saw her shrug. He reached forward and uncapped the bottle, and thought he heard a small sigh of relief from her.

The liquid tasted like a mixture of honey and spoilt milk. He wondered what really was in it. He didn’t dare to look. The taste was sour and sweet on his tongue, and he thought he remembered some flashes of memory. A taste so good and so sinful that he wanted to shrink away even as he yearned for it, and what tasted like the guts of rotting fish. He thought he might hurl or cry.

He finished the last drop and capped it, going by muscle memory more than by sight.

“Well done,” she said, and she moved the bottle out of sight. She placed a cup of cool, clean water in his hand.

“…book?” he managed to say after the taste had been cleaned off his tongue.

She laughed and said, “Of course.” He could hear her easing herself into a chair and the sound of a book being flipped. His muscles relaxed into the bed when he smelt the paper. “Kitahara Hakushu – I must say, Mr. Arima has interesting tastes. I suppose you might enjoy this though.”

He nodded, and waited patiently as she looked for a poem to start with. “This one looks good,” she said, and she took a breath and began to read.

 _I can hear so faintly_  
_My mother and father_  
 _Awake_  
 _Whispering_  
 _Dawn after a snowfall._

.

_T minus 119 days_

**December 5 th 2011**

She wondered if it might snow. She could see her breaths as she walked, a bunch of flowers held in her hands. Soon it would be too cold for any flower to stay alive.

She paused, as was her habit, on a wide avenue. There were plenty of people now; she could still pinpoint the exact spot from where her ex-classmate ran, disobeying a direct order. She closed her eyes briefly, then continued walking. The next time she paused was before a particular street. She turned into it.

On a weekday evening, this street was full of people coming back after a day of work to park their bicycles. There were some children laughing, their little hats secured with ribbons around their heads, and they wheeled their bicycles into the parking spaces. A couple of men were standing near the vending machine, warming their hands with cans of hot coffee.

The ground was plain granite and pure black. She looked to the side where there used to be a large stain and an arm encased in metal, and saw a cat. Its green eyes gleamed in the last sunset rays.

She walked on, to the end of the street, and leaned against the wall there so she could breathe normally again.

Then she walked to the bus stop, to wait for the bus that would bring her to the cemetery.

.

_T minus 112 days_

**December 12 th 2011**

Chigyou had indeed been able to modify Suzuya’s prosthetic to great effect. While Suzuya swung his leg and watched Chigyou attach the prosthetic to his limb, he asked, “Is there something new the researchers are working on?”

There was a beat before Chigyou answered, “Why do you ask?”

Suzuya shrugged and said, “A feeling.”

“Hmm.” Chigyou tightened the prosthetic so Suzuya could move about comfortably, before he said, “We’re making new _quinque_.” 

“I don’t mean that,” Suzuya replied.

It was busier than Suzuya had expected. A lot of hushed conversations. Glimpses of papers that compared human and ghoul biology. Much fewer _quinque_ production than he had imagined.

“An experiment?” Suzuya asked after Chigyou offered no reply.

“Something like that,” Chigyou said, then he gestured for Suzuya to stand up.

Suzuya hopped off the table and tested out the limb. When he twisted his leg to the far right the openings in the prosthetic fanned out like dangerous fins. He grinned.

“Yeah, this is good,” he said, twisting it back into position. It looked like a normal leg again.

“Good, eh?” Chigyou said. He started leading the way out of the room, hand on Suzuya’s shoulder to steer him along.

“So?” Suzuya asked, while wondering how he could start to work the new functions into his training. “What experiment?”

“Can’t tell you yet,” Chigyou said. He scratched his cheek. “It’s…not a secret, not really. Just…not completed.”

“ _Huh_.”

“Yeah,” Chigyou said, and he shooed Suzuya into the elevator.

.

_T minus 105 days_

**December 19 th 2011**

He felt like he was forgetting something important.

In the haze between naps he decided to try to remember. He thought he could remember a vague sense of pain, in his fingers, his toes, his left ear. His heart. His mind. Whenever he tried to remember more the pain fled, and he was no longer sure whether it really existed.

He thought he could remember the feeling of grass under his feet. And looking at the full moon too.

Or maybe that was just because he was staring at the round light in the ceiling.

When he was tired from remembering he went back to sleep, sure that he was forgetting something important, but deciding he could no longer bother.

.

_T minus 98 days_

**December 26 th 2011**

They were no closer to finding Owl. They spent their days and nights in the underground tunnels of Ward 24, always able to hear a vague whisper or murmur of Owl from the ghouls they left alive long enough to ask questions, but never anything concrete to go on.

As they paused for a small break, Arima traced the scar on his cheek.

He wondered whether he should bring over more books. Maybe this time he might even catch him awake.

He nodded at his team, and they resumed silently running through the tunnels.

.

_T minus 91 days_

**January 02 nd 2012**

It was the new year. The team of doctors and nurses that were taking care of him brought him cards, and there was a name written on all of them that he was still confused by. His left eye was now able to see clearly, and his right was starting to take shape. It didn’t feel so empty now, though he never asked how it looked like when the nurses efficiently changed his bandage for him.

“Sasaki Haise,” he murmured, tracing the _kanji_ on the greeting card.

He knew they said that was his name, but for some reason he always seemed to forget after they said it. The doctors did say something about memory loss, yet he could remember the details of the books the nurses read to him.

He smiled at the messages, even if they were generic and polite.

He decided to look at the name again.

He wouldn’t be surprised if his surname really was Sasaki. He wouldn’t be surprised if any random person on the street had the same surname. Now, Haise though. That was an interesting first name.

Did he have parents, he wondered. Were they still alive? Did they spend nights thinking of this name? He frowned and traced the _kanji_ for “hai”, murmuring to himself, “Coffee, string of pearls.”

Then – “Gray. Abandonment.”

He traced the _kanji_ for “se” over and over again, muttering, “World, age.”

There was a pause before he said, “Age of coffee. Coffee world. Worlds strung together. Gray world. Abandoned world. Abandoned. Abandoned.”

He closed his eye and said to himself, slowly, “Sa. Sa. Ki. Hai. Se.” He allowed the sounds to sink into him.

It still didn’t sound like his own.

.

_T minus 84 days_

**January 09 th 2012**

The notice went out to all Academy students that they would be undergoing a compulsory blood test.

.

_T minus 77 days_

**January 16 th 2012**

Akira bumped into Arima, purely by accident.

“Special Class Arima,” Akira said.

“Akira,” he said, and there was a faint smile on his face.

She did not move out of his way. He looked at her, seeming faintly puzzled but otherwise unaffected. Her eyes flicked over to the barely noticeable scar on his cheek, then to the book he was holding.

She raised an eyebrow. “Light reading?”

She knew Takatsuki was famous. She had seen the lady before and had been surprised that the author looked like…her. She just hadn’t pegged Arima for the type to indulge in fiction.

He looked from her to the book. “Oh. No. Not quite,” he said.

“A gift?” she asked.

“Something like that,” he said. He nodded at her and stepped to the side, then resumed his way down the corridor. “See you around, Akira.”

She stared after his retreating back for a while, wondering if he was walking more briskly than he usually did.

.

_T minus 70 days_

**January 23 rd 2012**

“Ms. Taguchi?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Where…will I be going after – ” he gestured vaguely at his right eye. It was nearly healed by now.

“Oh.” She placed her file down and sat on the chair. “Did Mr. Arima speak with you about it?”

“Not really,” he said. “He wanted to talk about the books.”

She sighed and chuckled. “Trust him to be so easily distracted. Well, I’m sure he’ll remember next time.”

He nodded, thought for a while, then asked, “Where exactly am I, Ms. Taguchi? I mean…nobody said anything to me about it. I guess…I don’t even really know who I am, so it wouldn’t make sense to know where I am?”

“Ah,” she said, and this was the first time he saw her looking uncomfortable. “Well – don’t be too nervous, okay, Haise?”

“Okay.”

“Well, you’re in the CCG. The, ah, Commission of Counter Ghoul.”

“Oh,” he said.

“Yes,” she said, and she sighed. “I don’t think anybody mentioned it because, well – ”

And in the same way he had gestured at his right eye she gestured at his entire being.

He thought for a while, then said, “Will I be killed?”

She looked more startled than uncomfortable now. “Would we spend so long trying to help you recover just for you to be killed?”

“Ah,” he said, and he leaned back against his pillow. “I’m sorry, let me change my question. Will I have a choice for what happens next?”

“…you’ll have to ask Mr. Arima when he next drops by,” Taguchi said.

.

_T minus 63 days_

**January 30 th 2012**

After Yoshitoki had left, Kuramoto waited for several minutes before he went to lean against Hirako’s table, arms crossed and fingers tapping out a rhythm only he knew. Hirako didn’t look up from Ayumu’s report – Yoshitoki’s visit had briefly interrupted his work, and he wanted to finish making comments before their lunch break.

“So I guess we know what some of the ghoul bodies were used for,” Kuramoto said after he had finished the song he was tapping to.

“…yeah,” Hirako said. He crossed out a part of what Ayumu had written and scribbled a few words in the margin.

“What do you think?” Kuramoto asked.

Kuramoto’s tone was deliberately light. Hirako thought of the many ways he could interpret this question. The mission with no end his team had been given. The enemy they were going to turn friend. Arima’s and Yoshitoki’s and, ultimately, Tsuneyoshi’s decision.

“…he’s strong,” Hirako said.

Kuramoto snorted. “I _know_. I mean – ” he lowered his voice – “Centipede here? Really? What were they thinking?”

It was a question he had always wanted to ask Arima when they had been partners. _What was he thinking?_ If he ever thought through what he decided on, how he moved.

“He’s no longer Centipede. Not fully,” Hirako said. “And even if so – we do as we’ve been told.”

“Well, alright, you know what? That I can still believe, if what Yoshitoki said about his memory is true…but the experiment – with the _kids_.” A rare grimace crossed Kuramoto’s face. “That’s, well…”

Hirako nodded. A brief image of the students he had seen crossed his mind – Takeomi with his earnest eyes and Urie with the angry aura around him – and he gripped his pen tighter.

.

_T minus 56 days_

**February 6 th 2012**

Over six days there was a team of 20 doctors and 46 nurses taking 963 blood samples.

.

_T minus 49 days_

**February 13 th 2012**

It was as he was getting his monthly haircut that Taguchi pointed out something different about him.

“Your roots,” she said, and she leaned closer to look. “Yes. Your roots are black.”

“Ah,” he said. He felt the scissors snipping at the hair near his neck and said, “Guess the name makes more sense now.”

“Name?” she asked.

“Ms. Taguchi, I’ll be as gray as my name suggests,” he said solemnly. “Yes. Never to belong in any world, a sad cross of black and white. Oh, how my parents had foresight.”

She laughed like she was surprised, and swatted him gently on the back of his head. “I never knew you were so melodramatic.”

“’tis not melodrama, dear lady,” he said. “’tis but the truth.”

“Maybe you should stop reading those books,” she muttered. She removed the cloth from around his neck and said, “Done.”

She passed him a mirror so he could see for himself. Come to think of it, since he had woken up, this was the first haircut when both his eyes were functioning well enough that he could see himself in a mirror.

Somehow he hadn’t imagined that he had curly hair. He tilted his head a little and could just glimpse the small area of black on the top of his head.

“Huh,” he said.

“Struck by how handsome you are?” she said.

“Huh,” he said again with a small smile, wondering what it was he was feeling.

.

_T minus 42 days_

**February 20 th 2012**

In the buzz of the cafeteria, Suzuya leaned over the table to say to her, “There’s some sort of strange experiment going on.”

Akira took her time to chew and swallow the mouthful of curry, then said, “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

It was not so much firm knowledge as it was her intuition, from the unreadable expression on Hirako’s face when she had seen him a week ago, from Arima’s new obsession with books.

Suzuya swung his legs and took another bite of chicken. He was dressed all in black, as was his style these days, and sometimes Akira found herself missing his old style.

“I wonder what they’re trying to do,” Suzuya said.

Akira looked at him and said, quietly, “I wonder too.”

.

_T minus 35 days_

**February 27 th 2012**

When Arima entered, he saw a tower of books first, then a black-and-white head among the books.

“Haise?” he asked.

The head did not move. Arima stepped around the piles of books and found the young man absorbed in a thick book. Both of his eyes were focused on the words.

“Haise,” he said again.

His eyes did not move away from the book to look at him. His lips were parted slightly, mouthing some words – not the whole page, but certain parts the young man seemed to be intrigued by. Specific _kanji_. A sentence. And a minute later, a breath, like he was caught in the beauty of a turn of phrase.

Arima sat down in front of him, folding his legs so he could sit cross-legged, and that was when the young man looked up at him.

“Arima,” he said.

Arima tilted his head to the side and said, in greeting, “Haise.”

The young man nodded, like he was acknowledging the address out of politeness.

“I spoke with the doctors. They said you can leave in a month,” Arima said.

“Ah. Yes.”

The young man placed the book down and smiled. It was a strange smile, half anticipatory, half anxious.

“You’ve been thinking about what I said?” Arima asked.

“…yes,” he said.

“Are you still worried?” Arima asked before the pause got too long.

“A little,” he admitted. He sighed and picked up the book again, looking at it without really reading it. “I don’t even remember my own name. Or anything to do with…before.”

Arima said, without a change in expression, “You do have a name. Sasaki. Sasaki Haise.”

His smile twisted. “I do, don’t I?” he said. “But for some reason – ”

He knew Arima knew he was somehow never able to remember the name. Something in him stopped him from remembering.

Instead of saying that, he said, “I’ll try.”

“…try?” Arima asked.

“Remembering. This name,” he clarified when he looked at Arima.

Arima nodded. “That’s good.”

“And…and I’ll become an investigator, I suppose? If people aren’t – well, you know,” he said with a short laugh that turned into a sigh. “Think I’m going to eat them or something.”

“Hmm,” Arima said. He smiled a little. Brief, but it _was_ a smile. “You’ll be fine. And if you do find yourself wanting to eat them, well…”

He seemed to be pondering something. The young man waited, studying his expression. Arima finally said, “Your mentor will be able to subdue you easily.”

The young man’s smile looked relieved this time. “Really? Wow. Should I be scared?”

“Of her? Maybe,” Arima said.

“And will you – ” The young man cut himself off with a sheepish grin. “Never mind. Forget it.”

Arima looked at him. He covered his chin with a hand and laughed, sounding a little self conscious.

Arima asked, “So how did you find the book?”

His expression brightened and he began talking enthusiastically about his latest read, as though the previous conversation had never happened.

.

_T minus 28 days_

**March 05 th 2012**

There were six students found to be suitable candidates.

.

_T minus 21 days_

**March 12 th 2012**

Houji passed a letter to her with a smile. “Congratulations,” he said.

Akira took the letter and opened the envelope. Along with the details of the ceremony, there was a brief note from Washuu Yoshitoki, congratulating her on her promotion.

She nodded, and slipped the letter into her drawer, on top of a file.

She did not know what to feel. She had never concerned herself with promotion, so this merely felt like another step forward. More duties. More responsibilities. One step closer to finding Owl.

At lunch, she was able to find Arima.

“So I’ll be working with your team, Special Class Arima?” she said in lieu of a greeting.

He smiled at her. “That’s right.”

She sat down across from him and said, “I look forward to learning from you.”

“Ah,” Arima said, “and I’ll have to trouble you to mentor somebody.”

She paused in scooping up some rice. “I’m not yet a First Class investigator,” she said.

“Not partner. Mentor,” Arima said.

“Hmm.” She placed the spoon back down on the plate and looked at him. “Why the special treatment for this person?”

“He’s different from the usual investigators,” Arima said. He paused for a beat, then said, “I’ll need your strength.”

“…that’s fine,” she said.

“You’ll see him in a few weeks,” Arima said.

“…sure,” she said, thinking of what Suzuya had said during lunch a few weeks back. Something went down her spine – not a chill, not exactly, but like her senses were informing her some change was about to happen.

.

_T minus 14 days_

**March 19 th 2012**

The shirt was loose on him. He wondered if he had lost weight or if they just got his size wrong. But he was relieved to be finally out of patient garb.

The door slid open and Taguchi came in. She smiled at the sight of him in civilian clothing. “Ready to go?”

Except for the books he had no personal items, and the books had already been packed into boxes, to be returned to Arima or, if they were gifts, to be delivered to his new place. “Yes,” he said.

She passed him a wallet. There was a thick wad of cash in it, two credit cards, an identity card and an investigator’s pass. He studied the two passes. It was beginning to sink in that that was his picture on the cards, and his name on them.

“There’ll be someone to bring you to your apartment and instruct you from there,” she said.

He looked back at the large white room, with its monitors – now all switched off – and the empty walls. He wondered if he will miss it. Or if it will all soon feel like a very long dream.

He took a deep breath. Released it. “Let’s go,” he said with a wide smile.

.

_T minus 7 days_

**March 26 th 2012**

Hirako hadn’t expected the boy to be this polite or smiley.

Then again, he hadn’t expected Arima’s sudden request for him to take the boy shopping, and on Hirako’s off day. He was used to following orders though, so it was not a big deal for him.

“Ah, Mr. Hirako?” he asked.

“Hmm,” Hirako said. He examined the outfit and shook his head. “Too large.”

“Oh,” the boy – _Sasaki Haise_ – said. He frowned at the jacket. “The lady did say this might be a bigger cut…”

Hirako nodded and passed him a set he had selected, with pinstripe trousers. “Try these,” he said.

“Ah. Thank you, Mr. Hirako,” the boy said with a wide grin.

He went back into the changing room and Hirako busied himself with finding another set of formal attire, for his start of work next week. _All black_ , he thought to himself, picking a set which was slim cut. The colour reminded him of Centipede on that night, eight months ago. _Clothes that would make him look like any other investigator_ , he thought, remembering Arima’s instructions.

The door opened and Sasaki stepped out. “Much better?” he asked, looking hopeful.

Hirako nodded, and the boy beamed. Before he could close the door behind him and change out, Hirako said, “Sasaki.”

Sasaki turned around with a questioning look. “Yes?”

Hirako passed him the set of black and waved him back into the dressing room.

.

_T_

**April 02 nd 2012**

The sun started to set at 6.04pm.

The sky was a warm shade of red and clearly visible from this cemetery. Akira now stood in front of him as a Rank One investigator, newly promoted since the ceremony a few hours ago.  

The gravestone was half covered in shadow from the sun’s angle. She didn’t mind it this way, when she could imagine her father was there listening and was not under a slab of stone.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine the sun’s warmth as her father’s warmth.

Then she opened her eyes and said, “From today I am a Rank One investigator.”

She wondered what the special team dealing with _Aogiri_ would be like. How it might feel working with Arima again. And how it might be with a new mentee under her care.

The sun’s angle changed, casting more of the gravestone in shadow, and the red in the sky began to deepen. She clutched the bunch of flowers closer to herself and said, “It seems like this investigator I’m mentoring is different from the usual investigators…”

She trailed off there. There was the sound of soft footsteps on the grass. She looked to the side and stared as a young man, dressed in a formal black suit, said in a hesitant voice, “G-good day, Rank One Mado Akira.”

The image flashed by so fast she barely registered it. A memory of herself in the young man’s place and a tall man in formal uniform in hers. Then she blinked and returned to the present, turning her attention back to him, studying his nervous expression. His eyes were bright in the light of the setting sun.

“I-I’m Sasaki Haise, Rank Three investigator. According to Special Class Arima’s orders I’ll be under your care from tomorrow.”

She wasn’t able to say anything. _Different from the usual investigators, indeed,_ she thought, the picture of Kaneki Ken in her file overlapping with the young man’s face.

“I l-look forward to working with you,” he said, voice faltering and becoming softer as Akira continued staring at him with wide eyes. He started to fidget while waiting for her verdict.

There was a strange something going down her spine again, the intuition her father told her to take pride in telling her that this was the change she had known was coming. She looked at him, then beyond him, to the warm shade of red in the sky she hadn’t seen since last summer.

 _Red sky in the evening,_ she thought.  

She shook her head and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Red sky in the night, sailors' delight._  
>  Red sky in the morning, sailors' warning.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Dates for reference:**
> 
> 31 October 2010: Kaneki comes across Kazuo eating.  
> 11 - 20 December 2010: Kaneki is tortured.  
> 20 July - 31 August 2011: School summer vacation (Anteiku raid happens at some point).  
> 02 April 2012: Sasaki Haise begins work [ _speculation_ ]. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
